April 18, 2015

What She Left Behind 
by Ellen Marie Wisemam
What She Left Behind is a captivating new novel about a 17-year old girl named Izzy who is placed in a foster home due to the horrific trauma she experienced - witnessing the bloody scene of her father after he was fatally shot while he slept, by none other than her own mother.  As you can imagine this poor young girl is struggling with major P.T.S.D. and starts to live with a constant fear that she could possibly end up with inheriting some form of mental illness just like her mother... that is if her mother even has a mental illness to begin with.  Her mom is currently being evaluated at a mental hospital and Izzy refuses to see her or return any of her letters.  Instead, Izzy chooses to distract herself with her job, which just so happens to be a museum project at an old closed down asylum.  Because of her situation, Izzy feels awkward with the job at first - but then she finds a journal and a pile of letters that belonged to one of the old patients - a young girl named Clara Cartwritght.  After reading about the horrors poor Clara faced at the old hospital, Izzy finds herself on a mission to find answers not only in her own life, but also in Clara's.

I really enjoyed this book, and I would definitely recommend it!  I do have to say that it really made me sad to read about the subjects of trauma, P,T.S.D, and mental illness, because even though we have come very far when it comes to the treatment of these issues, we have not come far enough.  Not only are there still things happening inside of mental hospitals and rehabs that are definitely not right, it's almost impossible to get into them anyway unless you have MONEY!  And the programs that are free or accept Medicaid have major waiting lists.  I have had loved ones and friends that have tried to get help for either addiction, depression, anxiety, etc, and NONE of them can say that they have truly received the help that they needed.  I actually just lost one of my best friends because she couldn't find the help she needed.  I'm still heartbroken over this, I mean... she died right next to me.  I love and miss her so much every single day!

Personally, I have struggled with all of the above and then some, and even though I have a Psychiatrist that I love as a person, NONE of the medications that she has prescribed to me have truly helped.  Not only do I still have major symptoms, I'm also suffering from major side effects.  Something needs to change!  Once I receive disability (which I've been waiting on forever), I plan on spending a portion of the money on natural and homeopathic medicine.  I've always believed in more natural approaches to any kind of health problems, whether they are physical or mental, and I'm really looking forward to hopefully finding something that works!  I'm sorry to go off on a tangent, but I plan on discussing these things at different times in the future, and this just seemed like the right opportunity to begin. 

Okay, so check the book out and hit me up if you want to talk about any of this stuff with me.  I love hearing other opinions and stories.  

Much much much love everybody! 

April 11, 2015 

I did this radio show appearance a few years ago, and a lot has happened since then.  I'm still considering writing a book, but I just don't feel like everything has come full circle yet.  I want to make sure it has before I even begin.  I guess I want to feel like I have the universe's blessing, or God's blessing if you will.  We shall see what happens.  If it's meant to be, it will be!